Need to write my own song

I woke up hearing a song in my head
“Don’t go chasing waterfalls
Just stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re use to…”

A similar pain as I had the morning right before
but this time, the tears were trying to follow close behind

Why do we set our selves up for disappointment
and take it even further and put ourselves out to be hung?

I feel like I opened up my vest,
exposed my chest
and was shot in the back of my head

I feel like I wore my heart on my sleeve
and you walked around to my other shoulder
pretended it wasn’t there
and never looked me in the eye

are my tears even worth shedding for this?
or should I just go back and continue focusing on
my rivers…

lakes stand waiting for me
staying available whenever I need to use them

and rivers just run through me

but at least they’re not like the rain from your blue skies
showering all around me as if I’m not even there

every now and then allowing me a little sunlight
rays warming me like the golden warmth of comfort and promise
rising in the morning after a storm

only to last occasionally
before it again
begins to rain

“I wanna go outside….
in the rain.”
your rain
“…cause I…”
“it’s so crazy, it’s so crazy.”

your music drowns out my own existence sometimes
i need to write
my own song



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